Thursday, January 24, 2008

Shaky Step by Shaky Step Climbing Upwards,
medium: oil on canvas panel
size: 18x24cm

The painting is slightly darker blue.

Some days are harder than others. Some days like yesterday I have this inner voice saying "I can't handle it", -"at least not today". Of course we can handle it and we have, over and over again, whether it is health issues, family crisis, or SAD or PMS or whatever. Most of the time the thing we have to handle is not that big realistically, but what I am talking about is the feeling and it does not react well to reasoning.

What sometimes both can be a help and the only things to do but also part of the problem is the demand to handle everything so incredibly well. We are taught that if only we think positively or follow this or that thought guru and make goals and do positive affirmations in front of the mirror or whatever the guro of the day tells us to do, then everything will not only be so much better, oh, no. much more than that. We will be a success and famous and rich and slim and all this in a very short timespan. If not we can of course contact the author and get our money back. Of course nobody does. Why? Because most of us cheat a bit and also because we kind of believe that the whole things is our own mistake. All the glowing testimonials on the site has told us that it works IF only we are dedicated enough.

My brain and emotions never are. They are never that dedicated or focused. They grabs power and I have to wrestle it back over and over again. Some days that is easy - some days not.

Yesterday my body let me down. Today I am better. I believe that is what is called LIFE.

While painting yesterday an image unconciously forced itself forward. The rope ladder. Fighting my way upwards on bad days is a shaky unbalanced business - never straightforward - and a bit scary too.

Some days, we deserve to and I believe need to allow ourselves NOT to climb at all, maybe only under the duvet and just be and not do. The to do list will be there the next day too.


blh said...

I like this painting so much that I would like to buy it. The frayed, worn rope ladder, that is so much harder to climb than a sturdy, metal or wooden ladder, is a wonderful metaphor for life. I do not believe that anyone, not even the rich and famous, have easy lives. Everyone has disappointments, heartbreak, physical and/or emotional pain, hopes and dreams that do not come true, children who do not turn out well, or whatever. In "Shaky Step By Shaky Step" the type of ladder and its condition make the viewer acknowledge life's difficulties and they tie all of humanity together with a visual image that applies to us all.

N Poucher said...

I love this one, Trine. Nice work!

Showing Up for the Muse said...

wow- this one- and words you write with it- make me feel like I am not alone. Nice job of capturing, in iconic form, a whole state of being.

Trine said...

I am so glad that it is now in the home of one of my collectors - a lovely lady who sees in it the same I did when doing it.